Monday 12 September 2016

Life Lessons

Once you wear correct life lenses, you should see lessons everywhere around you, even on the streets and you should pick the relevant ones when you can.

In fact, my Pastor, Reverend Olusola Areogun, would say that, in life, there are several unconscious teachers, but you must choose not to be an unconscious learner.
In the midst of these, there are several unserious students of life. Many times we charge the fathers not to be absent, silent nor missing. We encourage mothers to continue in their queenly quest. We insist they are the role models for their children. The family is the acclaimed foundation of every society. We ensure that teachers at the Sunday school church (children and teenager’s church) teach them proper lessons.

In fact, civic responsibility has been included in some secondary school education syllabus.
However, do you know as much as there are lessons everywhere, people upholding righteousness in several quarters, there are still these sets of people that are taking these life lessons unserious?

Those are the sets of people of interest to me in this piece. I will not admit that the society has eventually become sane enough. In fact, it does not seem like it would ever be. But as much as vanity, craze, and perversion are sold for less than a kobo on the streets, there is as much wisdom likewise in the streets.

Proverbs chapter one and verse twenty says, “Wisdom crieth without, she uttereth her voice in the streets.” Regardless, some do not take heed to her cries.
There are people, who grew up with the best of queenly mothers, present, active and available fathers, they attended godly schools, with correct doctrines being churned out from their church altars, but somehow, they were not taking these lessons serious enough.

Some other days, I write about being a vessel of wisdom. I write to encourage us all, to be an instrument of peace, with every medium we have, but today it is about those who have had the privilege of correct trainings all their life, but ended up perverted.

It’s as simple as the worst student in a classroom. The teacher definitely doled out same course materials and trainings. His choice was to neglect the trainings.

The primary inspiration for this write up was marital relationships.

I am Yoruba. I hail from the South-Western part of Nigeria. One common adage in my dialect is that “Oko buruku se e fe, ana buruku ni o se fe.” Loosely interpreted, a terrible husband is bearable, but a terrible in-law is unbearable.

I say this, because of the thousands of men and women who have gone ahead to marry people who had excellent parents, with best of character, but their spouses were just wrong on too many levels.

So I have heard it said a couple of times, that “No be say the guy too okay, but sha I like his family.”

You see, that is a faulty ideology. I am not suggesting that you do not forgive people’s weaknesses.
However, in the face of pertinent life decisions, it is sentimental to forgive a person’s numerous flaws because they have got a good resume.

It is like when you get a splendid job because the board was impressed by your resume (the numerous schools your parent could afford and force you to attend) but if your character consistently falls short of the company’s reputation, you are not likely to remain in that company.

So I have met people with such beautiful and cultured families, but he is just the black sheep. What is the point?

If he never took seriously, the training he got for over two decades in that family, what is the assurance that he would ever take any more serious in the future?

That’s too much of a life time gamble! Indeed, just as Socrates said, “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; NOTHING on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”







Friday 9 September 2016

Take a breather!

Sometimes ago, in my very very amateur days with manual car, I wanted to park outside an auntie's place and then I kept struggling to park 'mólè' (very well).
My goodness, I was on it for almost four minutes. After it almost got sweltering in the vehicle, I decided it was okay.

When I got off the car, and properly viewed the car behind, I realised if there were no gutter demarcation, I would probably be gunning for the gutter. I had done all the gymnastics I needed to do to park properly, I only needed a confirmation that it was fine.

Then I told myself, if only I had a company who would have said, 'IT'S OKAY. YOU HAVE PARKED WELL.'

Sometimes, you have done all YOU SHOULD HAVE, to save that relationship, to salvage that job, to keep that situation from going awry. Sometimes, doing enough maybe praying.

Sincerely, sometimes you have done just enough. If only you could hear God say, "Daughter you have tried your best. Don't sweat it."

I am not insinuating that you give up too soon, especially when you have God's instruction on it, but on some issues that you are unsure why you are holding on, take time to think that perhaps you have done enough. Maybe you are holding on too tight.

If only some women in abusive and violent relationships knew they had done enough, maybe they would still be sane and alive.
Just maybe.