Everyone else’s opinion is often readily available than your opinion. There is always someone who has got an opinion on; where you should be at the moment and on what you should be eating.
There is always somebody who will come into the room to suggest that the trousers you are wearing is too long, that your finger nails are too long. That you should have used palm oil to fry plantain instead of vegetable oil, to avoid the dangers of cholesterol. They may be your mother’s friend, your friend, your acquaintance, a stranger, or even your enemy.
And some do not merely suggest, their opinions can come with speed and insistence, suggesting authority and becouraging dissent.
That you should have married someone from your tribe instead of considering an intertribal marriage. That you do not attend a "correct enough" physical church.
I can go on and on and on, about everyone else’s opinion. Everyone else’s opinion can show up many times, before you can think deep about the situation at hand. You see, Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist, made a valid point when he said, “If someone isn’t what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”
Trust me, everyone else’s opinion can be mind-boggling, they can drown your thoughts.
However the beautiful thing about everyone else’s opinion, is that you get to be the judge of them. Opinion, can remain as it is- an opinion. The best it can be is an opinion, if you leave it at that level.
I got to a stage while growing up, where I wanted people’s verdict about every of my action and attitude. Once a friend popped in for a visit, and after minutes of chit chatting, and a warm reception, I moved to my business-as-usual- what do you think about me? The problem was not the fact that I wanted other people’s opinion about whether I was relating well or not.
In fact, the scriptures in the book of Philippians four and verse five says, “Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.”
So I was not too far from the Bible’s injunction with that habit of mine, God did request that our moderation be evident to men and not Him alone.
However, the problem afterwards, was that I was controlled by these varying opinions of others. And I was fast fulfilling the words of Oscar Wilde that, “most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions, a quotation.”
The danger in daily filling your ears with what is wrong about you is that you are likely to fight from a loser’s stand point. You are likely to want to struggle to be a better person with more fear of impossibility than of possibility. That's the very reason I avoid children of God that are more aware of what the devil can do to them than what God can do for them.
I agree, that there are weaknesses and each person has got their own reasonable share. That there are still some more masteries to be won, but don’t live in a pool of your inadequacies.
Your spouse (intending or current) and your immediate family are most likely the best judges of your character and you should hear them every now and then, but do not walk on the streets with your mind filled with everyone else’s opinion.
It is one major way I know of losing the driver’s seat of your life. Don’t give the devil that privilege.
Yes. Go ahead and build fortresses around your weaknesses that you have observed and that have been mentioned to you by others, but do not consistently make life decisions around other people’s opinions.
So I ask you like Steve Maraboli once asked, “How would your life be different if…You stopped allowing other people to dilute or poison your day with their words or opinions? Let today be the day…You stand strong in the truth of your beauty and journey through your day without attachment to the validation of others.”
I urge you to receive the wisdom of mentors by all means, but if you have never received an instruction directly from your creator-God, but you have only decided on cogent issues in your life based on second hand instructions and opinions of fathers, loved ones, friends and enemies, then, maybe they created you.